SAFER SEX - BUT HOW?

Safer sex refers to behaviors that help to make sex life safer (there is no such thing as 100% safety!). Another term is e.g. "protected sex". Safe sex means reducing or preventing contact with bodily fluids that could potentially contain pathogens.

The risk of infection for sexually transmitted diseases is

  • slight by saliva
  • moderately severe through vaginal secretions
  • very high by blood and semen
  • higher for the active or receiving partner

The term safer sex is often used in relation to HIV. However, the behavior also protects against unwanted pregnancies and of course against other, sometimes painful, chronic or life-threatening diseases. However, most infections nowadays can be treated well if they are recognized and treated in time. If you notice any changes in your body (burning, pain, itching, skin changes, foul-smelling or discolored discharge, etc.) or in your general condition, please contact your doctor. Important: In the case of sexually transmitted infections, both partners must always be treated!

By the way: The safest protection against sexually transmitted diseases is not to change sexual partners. However, this is not always possible, nor is it desirable for many people. It is therefore important to obtain comprehensive information about the possibilities of a protected sex life - in your own interest and in the interest of your partner. Because everyone can transmit pathogens. Infections cannot always be seen in a person. You can also transmit diseases yourself without even realizing it. So safe sex also includes the responsibility to protect your sexual partner.

Excessive consumption of alcohol and the use of drugs are not recommended in terms of safer sex, as the willingness to take risks is increased and inhibitions are lowered.

 

Safer sex is more than just sex

 

In Germany, people are optimally informed about safer sex at school and at home. Many institutions, such as the BZGA, ProFamilia and others, are also dedicated to the topic of sex education and safer sex. Nevertheless, there is unfortunately still a lot of ignorance and half-knowledge on the subject. In addition, obstacles, e.g. on the part of parents or teachers, often make it difficult to provide proper information. Some "things" are reluctant to be called by their real names, while others prefer to remain silent. Even adults often find it difficult to talk to each other. After all, it's about something very intimate.

However, talking to each other is the first step to a safe sex life. Talk to your partner about birth control. Take the initiative! Sometimes talking to each other is difficult, especially if you and your partner come from different cultures, or if one partner has a negative background. Dare anyway. Your partner will probably even be happy if you bring up the topic.

Especially with changing partners or one-night stands, a "conversation" about safer sex can also be very short by asking for a condom or saying that you have one with you. Sometimes the easiest way is to just use a condom without talking.

Don't let yourself be persuaded to give up contraception (if you don't both want it, for example as part of a long-term partnership and/or if you want to have children together) - it's a matter of your health. You can decide for yourself. In an emergency, avoid sex.

 

Hygiene

 

Hygiene is an important point to protect yourself from infections or to recognize them in good time. Paying attention to the body during daily washing makes you feel better about yourself. This means that warning signals for infections are detected more quickly. Vaginal douches, intimate sprays, soap, (too strong) tampons - all of this can have a negative impact on the vaginal flora. A warm, humid climate, such as that caused by panty liners, synthetic underwear and tight clothing around the intimate area, promotes the growth of fungi. It is better for men, too, to wear breathable underwear (cotton) and only wash the intimate area with water or a special washing lotion. The latter is particularly recommended if you have a tendency to fungal infections or already existing infections.

Regular hand washing prevents! After going to the toilet, after intercourse (including petting!) and before eating. Danger! Contact and smear infections (such as hepatitis A and C, gonorrhea, chlamydia) can be caused by the smallest particles of feces on the hands or on objects that have been touched by the sick. Washing with soap is usually sufficient, however, disinfectants are superfluous and only cause damage in the long run (the protective acid layer of the skin is destroyed, resistant germs are bred) if they are not used with justification, for example in the case of work-related direct contact with sick people and their excrements , or when living with them. You should then be careful when cleaning the toilet, for example by using gloves.

 

Safer Sex - the practice

 

During sex, you can use various methods to protect yourself effectively against infections.

On the subject of oral sex, you will find detailed information about safe intimate intercourse here. The contraceptive devices used for oral sex are the condom and the dental dam (a thin sheet of latex, also called a "dam").

A condom should be used for both vaginal sex and anal sex. You can find more tips and information on how to use a condom safely here. For vaginal sex there is also the option of using a femidom. Sufficient lubricant protects the mucous membranes from injuries, especially during hard sex.

Fisting is a sexual practice that carries a great risk of injury. It is important to ensure cleanly cut fingernails and to use plenty of lubricant. Latex gloves protect against contact with bodily fluids.

When petting, care should be taken to ensure that no body fluids come into contact with the sensitive mucous membranes. You can use a finger condom as protection for open (even very small) wounds or during your period. If you have open wounds on your mouth or an existing fungal, herpes or similar infection, you should not kiss until the areas have healed.

If you use sex toys together, you should wash or disinfect them thoroughly after use. If you use condoms, use new ones for you and your partner. There are also special condoms without a reservoir that are particularly recommended for use with toys.

Bloody sexual practices are not recommended in terms of safer sex, as there is a high risk of infection. Make sure that there is no contact between mucous membranes and body fluids.

 

Adolescents and safer sex - a taboo?

 

An open discussion about sex and contraception is often difficult, especially with young people. Far too often, teenagers obtain information from dubious sources, sometimes only from their friends. However, education and prevention is better than having to regret afterwards. First of all, it is important to accept that adolescents have sex or can have sex, even if this fact may not be what we want or imagine (as parents, educators, adults, etc.). Far too high a number of teenage pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases in adolescence prove that there is still a great need for discussion and education on this subject. Magazines such as Bravo and various websites take up the subject and try to enlighten young people. Because safer sex also means education for young people: getting to know the body and its sexuality. Adolescents have questions that they often do not want to ask, e.g. because they are ashamed of it. However, it is gratifying that more than three quarters of young people use condoms. However, some difficulties related to safe sex are typical of adolescents. I would like to single out a few examples here.

  • No contraception the first time
    After all, almost a tenth of all young people do not use contraception at all the first time. However, even one unprotected intercourse can lead to pregnancy or an infection. Therefore: It is better to be safe than sorry. Thanks to suitable cases, condoms can be stored discreetly and are therefore always with you in an "emergency", even if it suddenly happens very quickly.
  • The pill is enough - isn't it?
    About 40% of teenage girls take the pill from the start. This effectively protects against pregnancy. However, to prevent sexually transmitted diseases, it is advisable to use a barrier method such as the condom, especially if you have changed partners and at the beginning of a new relationship.
  • The condom slips, how embarrassing!
    Young people often need a tighter condom than older men because the penis is not yet fully grown. This is no reason for embarrassment. Many manufacturers have already reacted to this and offer so-called "youth condoms". These are either reinforced around the rim and narrower to prevent slipping, or have a narrower nominal width (49mm or less).
  • How do I use the condom correctly?
    Using a condom for the first time can be frustrating at times. It is important to use a suitable condom and to practice putting on the condom a bit. What if everything goes wrong? Stay relaxed and take the situation with humor. Tips on correct condom use can be found here.